Sometimes...

Sometimes I wish I had a different life...(still with my wonderful husband of course!)

As I drive down the run-down streets of central Orem and see many old run-down homes, with piles of junk in their yards, I often think, 

 I don't really belong here. 

I love Utah. I love the mountains so close, and being able to see them right from our front steps. I love being close to "modern conveniences" and pretty much any store imaginable. I love having practically no humidity and being able to go outside in the summer without having my hair turn to frizz. I love the soft grass and practically no insects (well, mosquitoes at least). I love being able to drive 10 minutes and be in a completely different world up the canyon. I love being surrounded by many LDS people, and being able to attend 6 temples within 45 minutes. I love the clear blue skies. I love being able to see people I know almost everywhere I go (it's a small Utah world, and an even smaller "dance Utah" world).

But, I'll be honest, the cities just aren't that beautiful. If you've ever been back east you know that there is a very distinct style of homes in different areas. Most of the homes are built in similar styles so to make the neighborhoods look more similar. Utah is definitely not like that (at least not anymore). The homes are a mod podge of styles...lately they're mostly horribly boring, brown stucco ones (I'm sure you've often seen a nice small, older home and then a horribly large, fake-looking stucco one right next to it?) They're also built way too close together. I don't know about you, but I would never buy a home that was 10 feet from the neighbor's. Also, many people around our neighborhood like to hoard "stuff" and it's all to common to see garages and the sides of homes filled with junk and trash. Many people drive to fast, and I get so frustrated with the "speed" of life here (I'm sure it's like this in many other places).

Oh how I would love to live on a little street like this...with clean sidewalks, manicured yards and gardens, gorgeous big trees...

Mike and I were able to do a lot of traveling and site-seeing last summer in Oregon and Wisconsin, and I have dreamed about Oregon ever since. There was something so "real" about Oregon. I really miss it. 

Do you ever feel like you were meant to live somewhere else? 

I do. Somewhere green. Somewhere that we don't know anyone. Somewhere that we'd have to make a new life and a new start. It's funny though, that I should feel this way when I've lived here nearly my whole life. Perhaps the annual trips to Texas and North Carolina made me realize how much I love those places. I often imagine building a home here, and finding a permanent place to stay...and I often can't picture it. I suppose only time will tell. 

But I just don't think I could move away from family---it's just not worth it. I know what it's like not to have any extended family within 100 miles, and I don't want that for my children. I hated only being able to see my parents' families once a year (and much less as we got older). I hate not being able to see my own dad but twice a year (at most). I just don't think it's worth it to live far away. Time is too short. Too much is missed. Too many memories are never made. 

So for now, I can only dream and imagine life in another city. 

Today it will be Oregon...

Maybe just a vacation there will satisfy for now...