Hello all you experienced, wonderful mothers!
I need some advice about...
I have this image of a perfectly put together woman who exercises at 5am, and is completely showered, dressed, and ready to go before baby wakes. Once baby wakes up they read books, get him dressed, and she feeds him a hearty, balance, homemade breakfast. After breakfast they take a walk to the park. Then they come home and the baby naps. While baby naps she does the laundry, the dishes, vacuums, and manages to finish an amazingly chic craft. Once baby's nap is over they both eat a delicious and nutritious lunch. After lunch they play interactive and quite educational games. You know, this baby can already say the ABC's and count to 10. Amazing! After play time it's quiet time. She prepares dinner while baby has his own quiet playtime. Her husband comes home at 5pm to a homemade meal from scratch. What a good wife he has. After dinner she cleans up while he plays with the little one. Oh look, it's 7 o'clock! Time for baby to go to bed! Baby gets a bath, a book, and a bottle. They sing songs and he goes quietly to sleep by 8 o'clock. Once baby is asleep Mr. and Mrs. get some wonderful time together. She makes sure the house is clean for the next day, and they all sleep happily ever after.
Okay, so maybe this isn't as unrealistic as I've tried to make it sound. My point is that some days I just don't feel like doing all those things. As in, it's really, really hard.
I always find it ironic that the times when I have nothing pressing to do are also the times that I am the least productive/proactive. When I have a lot going on I really organize and fill my time with a lot of productive endeavors. Anyone else ever feel that way? I suppose it would make sense, then, that this week I feel like a lazy slob who sits inside with her 1 year old all day. (well, that and the fact that I have a lot pressing on my mind.)
So, here are the questions!
1. What does your daily "stay at home mom" routine consist of?
2. What activities do you enjoy doing with a 1 year-old?
3. How do you find the motivation to be productive when you don't have to be?
4. What things do you do "just for you" that keep you healthy and sane?
I have to laugh at myself for even posting a comment because I'm probably the worst. I used to think that I would just play with Warren all the time when he was awake and would love it. Don't get me wrong, I love playing with him, but all the time every day get's exhausting :) This is my daily routine, but I wouldn't follow it, I'm just letting you know that you don't have to feel bad for being put together and on top of it all, all the time. Because I'm definitely NOT!
ReplyDelete6:45ish-8:30ish Am wake up and walk with sis. (we dont always get up on time :))
9:00 ish warren wakes up. try to feed him b-fast, sometimes he just wants a sippy of milk.
9:30 go play basketball.
12:00 warren takes nap. sometimes I take a nap. do dishes, or household things. oh ya and usually shower during this time.
2:30-3:00 warren wakes up. play toys or whatever with him. let him do his own thing. me do my own thing.
5:00 think about starting dinner. usually let warren watch a movie, some days here while dinner is being thought about :)
6:30 actually do make dinner.
8:30 warren gets put down.
SOOO as you can see, I'm a complete role model of an awesome mother. hahha. BUT I do find on days that I make a list of what needs to get done for the next day and have ideas of specific things I want to do with Warren, then my day goes smoother and I don't sit around wasting time on facebook or pinterest. But then again, sometimes I do want to just relax and do household chores here and there during the day. I'm sure you're an excellent stay at home mom and you're just being too hard on yourself!
Playing ball 4 times a week and my photography is what keeps me sane. Find something you enjoy doing for YOU. I think it's okay to be selfish when it comes to needing something ONLY for YOU.
First of all, realize that EVERY mom needs a little time for herself. Whether that's during nap time/quiet time or when hubby gets home, you NEED at least a little time to do something you enjoy. Mine's during nap time for my 1 year old and quiet time for the 4 year old. I do a little craft, or read, or look at blogs/fb for half an hour to an hour. It rejuvenates me to take on the rest of the day.
ReplyDeleteOther than that, find some good buddies with kids to hang out with! Then you don't feel like you have to have every minute scheduled with productive activities at home, because you WILL go crazy staying home that much just the two of you :) Plan playdates, park lunches, take a walk, meet up at the mall for some window shopping, go swimming, or anything that you enjoy with a friend. You'll be spending time with your baby, getting out of the house, and being a good mother. That being said, you will still have to do some other duties (laundry, cooking, dead guy duties, etc) but we like to turn on music and dance, or do a puzzle, read books, and do grocery and other shopping. Some days are hard! If they weren't I'd be worried. Share any good ideas you have in your blog for the rest of us too!
First off don't feel bad that you feel star crazy because motherhood, especially with one 1 year old can be SO monotonous.
ReplyDeleteI am not an expert but I have found a couple things when implemented in my life help me be more proactive and energized;
A stay-at-home mother doesn't have deadlines. There are no due dates so there is no urgency therefore it's easy to feel like there is no direction and like your are doing nothing. Create your own deadlines, your own due dates. If there is a project you want to accomplish give it priority and a deadline and stick to it. Do those things you have been wanting to get your hands on but haven't had the time.
Realize that not every second of the day needs to be spent holding, playing and teaching your baby. Yes, make sure there are plenty of that but he needs alone/quiet time just as you do.
Create a schedule. I am a little freakish at this and need to relax but I respond very well to schedules. Monday is laundry day REGARDLESS; We stay home and that's our priority. I always schedule my workout into my week, sometimes I do it early in the morning, sometimes while my kids are watching me and sometimes late at night but I do it 5 times a week. Plan play dates, say every other Tuesday you and a girlfriend hang out. I find if you plan stuff then there is something to look forward to and helps.
Continue to learn. I found I need to always be consciously learning something new; it helps me feel like I have worth and it energizes my mind.
Anyway, that's what helps me.
Sometimes it is almost eery how I come on your blog and read posts that I could have written myself. Seriously, I have working on a blog post like this. Weird. I've been feeling this same way and wondering those same questions, even though I stopped working when Preston was born.
ReplyDeleteJessica hit the nail on the head when she said that not having deadlines and places to be at required times that makes me feel like I have no direction and I am not getting very much done. For the first half of Preston's first year I felt like I needed to fill my day with things to do and be busy all day (one of the reasons I started the nap time dances). But I heard a quote from Elder Uchtdorf:
"Strength comes not from frantic activity but from being settled on a firm foundation of truth and light . . . It comes from paying attention to the divine things that matter most."
There is also this Ensign article (http://lds.org/ensign/2010/06/dont-be-in-a-hurry?lang=eng) “Don’t be in a hurry” which I really like.
I’ve had to learn the value in this slower season in my life. As the years go by and more children and callings and obligations come along I am sure I will miss some my slower quite days with just one child. That really doesn’t answer any of your questions, but something that has helped me when I get to the end of the day and don’t feel like I accomplished much. I do get to spend a lot of time thinking and pondering as I take care of our house and play and take care of Preston and give him an unrushed childhood.
I wish I had some good advice, but like I said, I have been struggling and been thinking a lot about this lately. The other month I prepared a lesson for Relief Society and came across this talk:
http://lds.org/library/display/0,4945,9118-1-5187-1,00.html
There is so much I love about this talk by Sister Beck, but I really enjoyed her system of prioritizing. That is what I am working on right now. My goal is to get to the end of the day and feel confident that I lived the best day I possibly could, and I think that happens by putting the essential and necessary first (not necessarily by running what we picture as an "ideal" household or schedule).
It doesn't really matter what order we do them in or how fast we work, but just that we are putting the best things first. Which I have found there are some many “nice to do” distractions. Even for a stay at home mom . . . especially with a computer :).
Well, sorry I didn’t give any clear answer but I’m still figuring this out. I would love to hear what you come up with! I wish that we lived closer so that we could do some play dates. You are in Utah County, right? Maybe if one of us is in each other’s neck of the woods we could get together :)
I wonder the same thing!! thank you for posting this! i have learned a lot from the comments as well. if you ever go stir crazy and want to do a play date, me and Eli are free! cause really, this stay-at-home mom thing is really really hard when there's nothing really to do.... so we need plans too :)
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